As Far as the Eye Can See

This is what my block looks like every week on garbage day.  It's like the Pacific Garbage Patch fell into a worm hole and landed on my block, conveniently out in front of the two low income housing units.  How odd...  Really though it's like this every fucking week!  How does anyone have that much stuff in their house?!  There's only two possible explanations I can see.  One, these folks burglarize entire houses every week and whatever they can't fence they leave on the street.  Or, two, they're hoarders that are slowly getting over their addictions and ridding themselves of the piles of floor to ceiling crap they've saved for decades. 

Even better, I saw 'normal' people (read that as not obvious hobos toting around grocery carts full of bottles and cans, especially the one old hunchback, Asian man who slinks away like Gollum when hear sees someone coming) looking through all this shit for something to take home.  Seriously people, it's fucking trash.  There's a filthy mattress, broken lamps, broken toys, there's a baby doll arm hanging out of the trash bag in the right foreground of the photo.  That shit is creepy man!  Last week there was even a toilet.  A toilet!  COME FUCKING ON!  Rabble-B

Where's the flap?

Why is there any type of mens' underwear manufactured without an opening in the front?  Seriously, why? 

You know what I dislike more than anything except Burning Man?  Unzipping my fly and fishing around for the opening in my boxer briefs, not finding said opening, and having to unbuckle my belt, unbutton my pants and pull my underwear down just to take a leak.  At that point I might as well just go full Butters style and drop everything to my ankles and pull up my shirt and sing, "Lu lu lu.  Lu lu lu."

It'll ruin your day.  Trust me, make sure your underwear has an opening and a flap in the front.  Rabble-B

Step Aside Terminator

Oscar Pistorius is pretty much the baddest ass dude of all time.  And has the best nickname ever too.

Read: http://todayinlondonblog.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/08/06/13144222-oscar-pistorius-ill-cherish-olympic-race-rest-of-my-life?lite

Unrabble-B

Spin the Wheel

Just for kicks I spun the roulette wheel of the Rabble Rouser engine and here's what showed up:

Comcast tries to rip her jugular out and it hates me I cannot figure it out and rabble around. Bergamo Airport, which he funded by selling you a Jager Bomb and grabs your ass people that don't need to buy gold. Check yourself!
I pray that Arizona House Bill 2549, which is charged with one button, erase. Dick minus the zombies and neutron bombs and such of cities with everything but the government did not want to be there, all coincidentally dressed as Edward Scissorhands Stephen Hawking's costume didn't come
So Snooki and Jwoww from Jersey Shore have both become published authors recently, because more money for a short article. Alonso and Massa reacting to the darkside than all other meats combined.

Rabble -B

My City

So I recently read this amazing story about my unique and diverse city (well, the one I work in anyway) San Francisco.  It just proves there's nowhere else like SF.  It's a pretty special place.  Readit here:

http://sfist.com/2012/07/26/volume_of_excrement_in_the_wheels_b.php

Ok, did you read it?  Did you vomit? 

I ride BART most days and yeah, I've wondered why it seems like the escalators are only on about half the time.  And of course I get off/on at the 16th St. station in the Mission and it usually smells like piss and hot garbage for two blocks in every direction.  I've been through Civic Center plenty of times and it's always a treat too.  I've seen lots of shit on the street but never on an escalator. 

I mean, it's kind of beyond comprehension.  That's a lot of shit.  I can't help but get a revolting visual in my mind of bums standing in line at 3am waiting to take a giant dump at the bottom of the escalator and all that shit just oozing into the gears.  Or, at least some of it.  Some of it just sits right where it was squeezed out, waiting to greet the early commuters catching the first train at 5am.

I really do love SF and the whole Bay Area, it's truly an amazing place to live but this kind of story just makes me want to move out into the woods where there are no hobos, no escalators and the only unchecked dumping comes out of a deer.  Rabble-B

Alameda County Fair!

Man, why do I not go to the county fair every year?  It's really the epicenter of all the best and worst things about our society.  Horse races, pig races, festys, auctions, games, rides, carneys, food, holy cow the food, more animals, plants, fat people, gardens, concerts, art, antiques, heat and just about anything else you'd ever want to find in one place.  Here are the highlights:

World of rides,games and food

Scratching a goats ears

Bee face

And this happened

PIG RACES!

On a ferris wheeel

Christine and her lemur from the state of "Washingon"

Horse races

Goat rides a sheep.  No big.

Hot, sweaty and fat on a ferris wheel

Unrabble-B

Rabble Rouser

My friend Kristjan, software engineer, webmaster, Shotwell's trivia co-champion and all around genius designed a rabble generator for me and you.  Basically, it will rabble for me when I'm too rabbley to rabble or on vacation or abducted by revolutionary lemon sharks, a political prisoner under the ocean with no escape except drowning.  Or, it will just make nonsensical madness for you entertainment, which I suppose is probably more sense than some of my rabbles anyway. 

But seriously, go to http://rabblerouser.herokuapp.com/ and make your own rabble.  In the upper right corner you can choose two variables, length and how much sense you want it to make.  After you've decided you click rabble and the generator Russian Roulettes a bunch of shit and whamo! Instant rabble! 

It's what you've all been craving for years.  Now you don't have agonize, breathlessly anxious, shaving years off your life, praying for a new rabble everyday.  You can design your own.  It's like on demand cable, except better and free.  Just know that when you're lonely or frightened or lost, there's always a fresh rabble waiting in the wings to lead you home.  Rejoice my friends, you shall never be rabble-less again!  Giant Unrabble-B