The Porcelian God

Who the fuck ever thought of the padded toilet seat is an idiot!  Why would I want to sit down on the toilet to take a shit only to feel like I'm already sitting in my own shit?  Seriously, padded toilet seats are disgusting.  They're already warm and on top of that squishy.  When I sit down to take a dump I want to feel the opposite of sitting in my own shit.  Gross people.  And even better the vinyl covering is usually cracked and discolored.  It may even look like it's been pooped on recently.  I love getting up off a padded toilet seat after sitting on it for a while.  It feels like the vinyl rim loves my skin more than I do as it tries to rip my ass cheeks away from me.  Dammit man!  Fucking wrong, they should be outlawed.  Rabble-B