Time is not on my side, no it's not

Only Comcast can turn what should be an easy ten minute call into an hour of me desperately searching for a pistol.  I hate you Comcast, I really, really do.

I wish God would dole out life credits added to the end of one's life for all the time wasted by worthless crap, like sitting on the phone while Comcast tries to get me to purchase an ADT security system.  Dude, I just want high-speed fucking internet, and you monopolize my city.  If I want a secruity system I promise I'll call ADT, not Comcast.

I'm pretty sure at thirty years old I'd already have enough life credits for wasted time out of my control, I'd become immortal.  Thanks Comcast, for continuing to suck the life out of me.  Rabble-B

The Only Way I Like Mine

$2.49?!  That is a bargain my friend.  But really, who wants a medium tropical man anyway?

I like how someone wrote in the "go".  Come on, at least use a sharpie.  Rabble-B

Coffee with Ice?

So lets say you went into a cafe ordered an iced coffee or iced Americano.  In what world does that mean pouring 5 cubes of ice in a hot cup of coffee and thereby serving you a luke warm cup of shitty coffee?  Nowhere.  In no world is that an acceptable drink.  All it does is fill up the trash can with coffee that should've been consumed hot or cold, not room temp.  Rabble-B

Shake Weights

Turns out there isn't an 'on' switch.  Who would've thought?  Rabble-B

Above Ground Pools

What can you say really?  Why the fuck would you think an above ground pool is a good idea?  First of all, they're gonna blow at some point.  I mean, Karl from Aqua Teen hunger Force has one.  And what, are you gonna take it with you when you move?  I can't believe that the filtering systems are any good on an above grounder either.  That means you're swimming, or rather wading since I've never seen one deeper than 3 feet, around in piss and bacteria and bugs and shit.  Gross.  If you don't have enough space or money to install a real pool, you know, concrete and tile, maybe a little waterfall spilling over from your hot tub you installed at the same time, then you should pay a dollar entry fee and use the community pool.  Rabble-B

Oh captain, my captain

So I'm reading through the new issue of Rolling Stone, the one with The Sheepdogs on the cover.  Who the fuck are The Sheepdogs and how did they win a contest to be on the cover of Rolling Stone?  Man, what the fuck?! 

Anyway, more importantly, Captain Beefheart, the incredibly influential and creative musician with a huge catalog of work (12 albums with "The Magic Band" alone) died in Dec. 2010.  His impact on modern popular music is immeasureable.  Rolling Stone gave him a 3/4 page memorial article noting his life, music and death.  Amy Winehouse dies after releasing two records and gaining more notoriety for her tragic drug and alcohol addiction than music anyway, and she gets 6 pages and several other photos scattered throughout the issue. 

This is what is wrong with music.  Right here.  It's completely absurd.  Fuck you Rolling Stone, you suck.  Rabble-B

Eddie the Eagle

My boy Eddie, the bald eagle that lived and patrolled the 520 bridge died yesterday when he flew into the windshield of a Metro bus.  He was a badass.  he ate ducks and fish and roadkill, he probably shit on your car once or twice too.  Stupid bus.  The good news is he apparently had a bunch of kids and they are old enough to fly now and are gonna start terrorizing every bus on 520.  Beware.  So long Ed, RIP.  Rabble-B