Carbon Credits

So I understand, there's a lot of CO2 in the atmosphere and it's involved in global warming which humans are probably, at least partially responsible for.  I don't really care. 

What pisses me off is that there are companies now out there making money by selling you a carbon credit and making you think you're doing something for the environment.  What the fuck is a carbon credit and why do I need one?  I am environmentally conscious, I volunteer my time for good causes.  I try to make a small impact.  So why are you trying to get me to buy some made up, bullshit idea and trust you to spend my money in a way that offsets my "carbon footprint" and then you give me a bumper sticker that says, "This car's carbon footprint offset by Terrapass" (a company based in hippie central, San Francisco), to put on my car that you hope I continue to drive around so I'll feel bad and give you more money.  Yeah, well, fuck you.  Isn't that bumper sticker made of plastic?  And isn't plastic environmentally toxic and the manufacture of some types releases greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere?  Pretty sure CFC's were used for a long time in the manufacture of certain plastics and they depleted the ozone layer and now we all get skin cancer.  Pretty sure several types of plastics are synthesized from oil and, well, that leads us right back to CO2 emission doesn't it?  So, Terrapass, who is selling you carbon credits for your stickers?  Huh, what was that?  Hell give me some money and I'll build a windmill to power my house.  That would be rad and environmentally conscious.  Oh, that's not how it works I guess.  You do however, when I get married, offer a wedding carbon offset.  Because that's what I'll be concerned about that day, all those tiny CO2 bubbles released out of the champagne.  Dammit, How could I be so selfish?!.  Good to know you care about my happiness.

Also, one of that ways these companies offset your carbon footprint is investing your money in hydroelectric power.  Great.  Clean, renewable energy.  Except I'll never let you use my hard earned dollars to support the continued decimation of wild salmon and steelhead stocks across the West coast of the continent.  More dams?  No fucking way, not with my money.  Oh and they also use your money to support "forestry".  Pretty vague.  So does that mean clear cutting vast swaths of trees that suck up the CO2 we produce and then planting some more in their place, walking away while the whole hillside collapses into a river because you destroyed the root structure holding it all together?  Hmm.  You know what, why don't we take all the money everyone wants to donate to offset the clown sized footprint and use it for real, tangible solutions, like, Plant your own fucking trees people!  It's not hard.  You dig a hole and put the seedling in the hole and push dirt back in.  Bam, less CO2.  Or maybe instead of paying someone else to do something for the environment you could take a day out of your jam packed schedule and volunteer your own time and money directly.  Try American Rivers for starters or even the fucking Sierra Club.  Just do something real, don't pay some bogus company money so you can feel better about driving around in your Subaru.  Think global, act local.  Isn't that the mantra?  I think that applies perfectly.  Rabble-B