Lawnmower Man

If you're that drunk and you feel the need to drive I can't imagine a safer way to travel than 5 mph on a riding mower.  Rabble-B

Iowa man arrested after lawn mower ride on highway

updated 7/8/2010 1:58:42 AM ET

MADRID, Iowa — A middle-of-the-night ride on a lawn mower landed one Iowa man in jail.

The Boone County Sheriff's Office says deputies stopped the man on Highway 17 near Madrid around 1 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports of someone driving a mower all over the road with no headlights. Madrid is about 25 miles northwest of Des Moines.
The man was arrested for drunken driving. The Sheriff's Office says his blood-alcohol level was .190 — well above Iowa's limit of .08.
Boone County Sheriff Ron Fehr says it's illegal in Iowa to drive any kind of motor vehicle anywhere while drunk.
Fehr wasn't sure how fast the man was going on the six-speed Bolens lawn tractor. The Des Moines Register reports that the top speed for that mower is about 5 mph.