(S)no(w) Rules

Dear average moron driver,

Ok, look it's snow.  It happens every year and every year you freak out and smash your cars up and try to drive up steep hills that you know better not to go up.  Maybe, macho man, you think because you have 4-wheel drive you are invincible.  Or maybe you're that lady who's so petrified of getting stuck or crashing that you stop on the hill, there by bringing your fears to fruition.  You're an idiot.  There are an unspoken set of snow rules for driving and it's high time they become spoken so we all have the same understanding of our rights and responsibilities on a snow day.

1. Don't stop, unless you really, really have to (like if you're going to slide into another car, which if this is the case it's probably because you already slammed on your brakes and spun around a couple times and you're an idiot) because it's usually hard to start moving the direction you want to again, especially on a hill, up or down.  Just keep cruising slowly and you'll be fine.
2. Stop signs are void.  This just goes back to don't stop.  Unless someone is already in the intersection and you're going to hit them just roll on through.
3. Stop lights are just a suggestion.  Again, unless there is a bunch of cross traffic, don't stop just slow down and cruise on through.
4. The other side of the street, i.e. the oncoming lane, is totally fair game.  You have to get around those three jack-knifed buses somehow because you're certainly not going to stop behind them (see rule #1).
5. Pedestrians no longer have the right of way.  Ya, that's right hipster dipshit in skinny jeans, pointy boots and a tank top with a feather in your hair, you can stop easily on the curb carrying your PBR half rack, I can't.  I am going to continue to slowly roll on by to my destination and you can suck it.
6. Leave the sportscar at home and don't think your 4-wheel drive vehicle is a snowmobile and gives you license to fly around all over the place at 60mph.  Just do everyone a favor and stay home and beat your dog.  
7. If the city closes a road it applies to you too.  Even if you have the aforementioned 4-wheel drive vehicle you don't get to drive on a closed road and crash into a parked car.  More than likely drunk teenagers are sledding down the closed street anyway and you'll feel really bad if you run one over.  
8. If you're not confident in your snow driving abilities or to follow the snow day rules stay home and for the sake of everyone else in the community, DON'T WATCH OR READ THE NEWS! it will only make it worse.  Same goes if you're the overconfident "Please, I got this." guy.  Stay home, order pizza.

This is my second picture post in as many days  See below.  Rabble-B

Don't end up like these folks outside my house at midnight in the place where buses go to die.  You'll never make it out.  This is one of probably 10 buses stuck on my street and none of the other four cars are moving either.

Really Seattle Times?  You couldn't come up with a cheesier yet more fear inspiring headline?  If this is only the first punch we should all head for Mexico I guess.  The editors should be fired for this one.  Can't wait for, "La Nina (Spanish for "The Nina" (feminine)) Delivers the Haymaker, City Cries Uncle" in January...