Jersey What?!

So Snooki and Jwoww from Jersey Shore have both become published authors recently, because more money is what they need...  Now, what is so shocking about this revelation is not that some publisher is low enough to cash in on their absurdly cartoonish lives that pass for reality but rather that Snooki and Jwoww can actually read and write!  This may not be true of course, literature and non-fiction have a long history of ghost writing but geez man. 

Snooki's book is supposedly a novel but it's titled A Shore Thing which leads me to believe it's an autobiography not a novel but I suppose she could've been confused and the publisher too I suppose upon reading the draft probably couldn't believe such characters could ever be real.

Jwoww's book is apparently a dating/love advice book.  If that's the case it can't actually be more than a short article.  I mean, what advice could it possibly contain?  "If a hot bro at a club buys you a Jager Bomb and grabs your ass you should definitely go home with him and let him fuck you."  Seriously people, what if aliens descended on our planet tomorrow?  Is this really how we want our planet represented?  They'd vaporize us in a heartbeat.  Rabble-B