Things I've remained blissfully ignorant of until today

A few things I've recently been exposed to on Youtube:

Who the fuck is Nicki Manaj and why does this video have 93 million views?!  The first 45 seconds is a bunch of nonsensical space ships and tribal dudes and then she walks out of the ocean and starts sort of but not really singing a song?  I'm not sure what happens after that, I turned it off.  Why is this person famous?  Music blows these days, nothing I can stomach anymore was recorded after 1978.

779 million people thought this was worth checking out before I'd ever heard of this.  That's almost a sixth of Earth's entire population.  I still don't know what happens in this video, it's beyond the limits of human comprehension.  This video is truly vexing in the worst way.

I don't like Taylor Swift's music, at all, it's terrible, which is why I'd never seen this video until today.  I do appreciate though that she writes her own music and unabashedly writes about her life, as dumb as her existence seems to be.  But seriously, what is with the guy in the dog suit playing guitar in this video?  Yes, that's right, I said, "the guy in the dog suit playing guitar".  Is he on ecstacy?  Is he from a failed mid 2000's pop punk band and this is his big break?  Is he a little touched?  He's really freakin' me out.

Ok, I get it, you're a fucking map!  Just show me how to get to 7-11 and shut the fuck up!

Rabble-B