Milk

Yesterday was the Ides of March.  I took the opportunity to buy a half gallon of milk so I could eat Lucky charms out of my giant Lucky Charms bowl I got for Christmas.  Now we all know milk is perishable and the sell by date on the one I bought is March 29th.  So cool, I have two weeks to pound tons of Lucky Charms and Rice Chex.  Mmmmmm.  The milk carton next to the one I bought had sell by date of MAY 9TH!  What the shit is that?!  What kind of fucked up preservatives and cow hormone treatment do you have to come up with to make milk last almost two months?  I think if you drink that shit you probably grow a third eye or something.  Whatever makes it last so long can't be good for your body (not that milk is inherently great for you but it has calcium and potassium and it's where cheese comes from so needless to say I'm going to go with milk being awesome on the whole).  So, hey, Darigold, you suck!  Stop poisoning your cows and customers with intergalactic, unperishable, steroid, death milk!  Rabble-B