What are my options?

So I know that I am the only one in the world who leaves and/or listens to voicemail messages any more but whatever happened to a short greeting from the person you called and a beep?  Now after the message you get like 5 minutes of a soothing female voice telling you all sorts of shit that you don't care about.  "To send a fax press 4".  Seriously?  How am I supposed to send a fax from my cellphone?  Where do I put the paper?  It's fucking stupid.  Or I also like, "after you leave a message you may hang up or press 1 for more options".  Options?  What options?  Like I can press 3 and actually get to talk to the person I was calling?  Because that's the only other option I care about.  If I want a #4 combo meal I'll go to Wendy's and not try to make phone calls.  Just wait, 'til your carrier starts advertising on your voicemail (Just like Comcast.  Hey, guys, I already subscribe.  When I'm scrolling through the show guide or on demand I don't need advertising, you already have my business.  Fuck off.), then NOBODY would leave messages anymore...  Rabble-B