Just a Tuesday walking to work

Just a hollowed out half a watermelon full of needles.  Just a Tuesday.  Walking to work.  Rabble-B

The Volcano is your colon

So I just learned about this thing from Taco Bell called the Volcano Box, pictured here:

I love greasy food but I just about shit my pants just looking at the photo.  It includes a Volcano Taco, Volcano Double Beef Burrito, a Crunchy Beef Burrito, Cinnamon Twists and a giant drink.  My question is why doesn't it include a whole roll of three-ply toilet paper?

And if that's just not enough volcano for you, you can add Lava Sauce to it.  That's right, Lava Sauce.  No, I'm not talking about what leaks out of your anus after eating a Volcano Box.  It's a spicy cheese sauce you can add to anything on the Taco Bell menu.  Or, at least used to.  Apparently from my three seconds of research on the internet, Lava Sauce is no longer available.  Though there is a Facebook page dedicated to bringing it back.

This needs to go into worst food idea hall of fame along with the KFC Double Down and brussels sprouts.  Rabble-B

TEDxPortland

Watch this and you'll want to be a better human:

http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/A-Perfect-Life-Love-Frank-Moore-

Unrabble-B

(Ya, I know it's been a million years.  Being an adult sucks.  Doing adult things and having responsibilities, obligations you don't care for, being worn down at work, tired and grumpy.  Often the last thing I want to do is sit in front of a computer and type.  Adult things (except beer) can piss off.  I want to have fun and rabble a lot.  Here's to rabbling.)

Small Victories

Much as has occurred in the world since the last rabble: Ukraine, more Syria, more Boko Haram murders, Kansas passed an anti gay Jim Crow law, Arizona almost did too, a disappearing jetliner, the snake preacher got bit and died, the Oscars... And the most newsworthy thing of all is today I ran over a vile, disease ridden pestilence with wings, or a pigeon as they're commonly known. Score one for everything good in the world. Unrabble-B

Zombie Apocolypse? Nope, just Florida

Sing it with me, Down in Florida, where the days are warm and you might be murdered for no reason, but only if your black but some people don't discriminate, they'll just bite your face off.  I'm working on a chorus.  The Florida tourism bureau needs to changed their slogan to, "Beautiful Beaches and biting behemoths, Fun for the whole fam-damily, only in FLORIDA!"

I like the last paragraph, where the cops claim they can't tell if it was the three gunshots that killed him or something else.  50 Cent survived more than that right?  Sure.  And the last line,

"He's obviously on some type of narcotics to make him act like this." 

No shit?  Great detective work guys!  Because the only other explanation for face biting would be Zombie apocalypse.  Actually, it's Florida, that's explanation enough.  Rabble-B

Naked Man Shot to Death After Eating Teen's Face, Assaulting Cop

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A naked man with "superhuman strength" was shot to death Tuesday night after assaulting a former police officer and biting part of a teenager's face off.

According to Palm Beach County Sheriff Ric Bradshaw, the naked man was walking down a road near Delray Beach, Florida when, for reasons that remain unclear, he attacked a 66-year-old former NYPD officer. The retired cop was rushed to the hospital with serious injuries.

Meanwhile, the naked man continued up the road, where he encountered and chased a man walking with his 10-year-old son. Later, the naked man attacked an 18-year-old man, biting his face until the teen stabbed the man with a box cutter or knife. By that time, police officers had arrived on the scene and attempted to Taser the nude man.

"He's obviously delirious on something," Palm Beach County Sheriff Ric Bradshaw told the Palm Beach Post. "He is a huge guy. He takes a fighting stance. They're trying to get him on the ground. He starts charging them. The Taser did not affect him."

A deputy then shot the man three times, once in the torso and twice in the lower body. The man died later that night at a nearby hospital.

"We don't know right now if he's expired from the gunshots, or if he's expired because of obviously he's on some type of drugs that have made him act like this," Bradshaw said. "There's no way to know if those are the shots that actually killed him, or if he's died from what they called exited delirium. He's obviously on some type of narcotics to make him act like this."

From Russia with Love

The Russian deputy Prime minister Dimitry Kozak recently commented on gays at the Sochi Olympics.  He reminded everyone they have nothing to worry about saying, "We are all grownups, and any adult has his or her right to understand their sexual activity. Please do not touch kids. That’s the only thing."

Wait, so gay is a synonym for pedophile?  So Freddy Mercury = Jerry Sandusky?  Ok, got it... you shit for brains, ignorant asshole!  Check out this trailer for the documentary Hunted and wonder why we aren't boycotting the Olympics?  Rabble-B

Forty eight is not my age

Then there's this story:

Issaquah changes name to 12SAQUAH

Credit: KING 5

A vintage trolley that provides a link between downtown Issaquah and the Gilman Village area

by KING 5 News

Posted on January 31, 2014 at 2:16 PM

• Mount Rainier becomes Mount Seattle Seahawks

For one day, Issaquah will be "12SAQUAH." That day, of course, is Super Bowl Sunday.
The city's mayor, Fred Butler, issued the proclamation at City Hall on Friday morning.
"We are the 12s, and we could not be more proud of our Seahawks," Butler said. "I know I speak for our entire community when I say, I'm in."

I worked in Issaquah for ten years and it's also my wife's home town.  I've never heard of 12saquah.  That's not even a word.  Notice the headline about Mount Rainier... 

Ok, look Puget Sound, your team is really good, crazy good and they might even win the Super Bowl (Lord knows the entire rest of the country doesn't want them too, just like 2005), but chill out a little bit.  Weed is legal, go smoke a j. 

Despite my affinity for the 49ers that goes back to my childhood watching Joe Montana and Jerry Rice that is reinforced by where I now live and my constant head scratching at the insane rivalry that has developed in only the last three years, I like the Seahawks.  I've always liked the Seahawks.  How long have you been a Seahawks fan?  Who has watched Dave Krieg throw a TD to Steve Largent?  Jim Zorn?  Cortez Kennedy?  How many of you were Seahawks fans in 2005 when the refs stole the Superbowl from Seattle and gave it to Pittsburgh?  Do you remember who coached Seattle that year?  I remember all of this.  But guess what?  I'm not renaming my cat Golden Tate.  I'm not spending thousands of dollars to go see the game and I'm not donning a children's Thundercats costume, painting it green and calling myself Beastmode.  Why?  Because I'm not a lunatic. 

So, Puget Sound just take a deep breath, grab a beer and a slice of pizza and root for the Seahawks.  That's what I'm gonna do.  Enjoy the game.  Just don't go into a black hole of depression if they choke in the clutch, just remember that's what all Seattle sports teams do.  It comes natural.  Let's see if they can buck the trend.  Rabble-B