Spin the Wheel

Just for kicks I spun the roulette wheel of the Rabble Rouser engine and here's what showed up:

Comcast tries to rip her jugular out and it hates me I cannot figure it out and rabble around. Bergamo Airport, which he funded by selling you a Jager Bomb and grabs your ass people that don't need to buy gold. Check yourself!
I pray that Arizona House Bill 2549, which is charged with one button, erase. Dick minus the zombies and neutron bombs and such of cities with everything but the government did not want to be there, all coincidentally dressed as Edward Scissorhands Stephen Hawking's costume didn't come
So Snooki and Jwoww from Jersey Shore have both become published authors recently, because more money for a short article. Alonso and Massa reacting to the darkside than all other meats combined.

Rabble -B

My City

So I recently read this amazing story about my unique and diverse city (well, the one I work in anyway) San Francisco.  It just proves there's nowhere else like SF.  It's a pretty special place.  Readit here:

http://sfist.com/2012/07/26/volume_of_excrement_in_the_wheels_b.php

Ok, did you read it?  Did you vomit? 

I ride BART most days and yeah, I've wondered why it seems like the escalators are only on about half the time.  And of course I get off/on at the 16th St. station in the Mission and it usually smells like piss and hot garbage for two blocks in every direction.  I've been through Civic Center plenty of times and it's always a treat too.  I've seen lots of shit on the street but never on an escalator. 

I mean, it's kind of beyond comprehension.  That's a lot of shit.  I can't help but get a revolting visual in my mind of bums standing in line at 3am waiting to take a giant dump at the bottom of the escalator and all that shit just oozing into the gears.  Or, at least some of it.  Some of it just sits right where it was squeezed out, waiting to greet the early commuters catching the first train at 5am.

I really do love SF and the whole Bay Area, it's truly an amazing place to live but this kind of story just makes me want to move out into the woods where there are no hobos, no escalators and the only unchecked dumping comes out of a deer.  Rabble-B

Alameda County Fair!

Man, why do I not go to the county fair every year?  It's really the epicenter of all the best and worst things about our society.  Horse races, pig races, festys, auctions, games, rides, carneys, food, holy cow the food, more animals, plants, fat people, gardens, concerts, art, antiques, heat and just about anything else you'd ever want to find in one place.  Here are the highlights:

World of rides,games and food

Scratching a goats ears

Bee face

And this happened

PIG RACES!

On a ferris wheeel

Christine and her lemur from the state of "Washingon"

Horse races

Goat rides a sheep.  No big.

Hot, sweaty and fat on a ferris wheel

Unrabble-B

Rabble Rouser

My friend Kristjan, software engineer, webmaster, Shotwell's trivia co-champion and all around genius designed a rabble generator for me and you.  Basically, it will rabble for me when I'm too rabbley to rabble or on vacation or abducted by revolutionary lemon sharks, a political prisoner under the ocean with no escape except drowning.  Or, it will just make nonsensical madness for you entertainment, which I suppose is probably more sense than some of my rabbles anyway. 

But seriously, go to http://rabblerouser.herokuapp.com/ and make your own rabble.  In the upper right corner you can choose two variables, length and how much sense you want it to make.  After you've decided you click rabble and the generator Russian Roulettes a bunch of shit and whamo! Instant rabble! 

It's what you've all been craving for years.  Now you don't have agonize, breathlessly anxious, shaving years off your life, praying for a new rabble everyday.  You can design your own.  It's like on demand cable, except better and free.  Just know that when you're lonely or frightened or lost, there's always a fresh rabble waiting in the wings to lead you home.  Rejoice my friends, you shall never be rabble-less again!  Giant Unrabble-B

FYPM

It's kind of like Michael Jackson's PYT except not. 

It's really more "Fuck You Pay Me" painted on a giant sign by a local hobo/rich kid douchebag trying to find his true self by traveling the country and living on the street in his own filth and owning a pitbull he can't care for and thinking he's got the world by the balls and the rest of us people who actually work for a living, pay taxes and try to positively contribute to better out society are just a bunch of suckers. 

You know what I'm never gonna do?  Give you anything but an incredulous, blank look.  I wouldn't  even give you a Peso you self righteous, arrogant fucktard.  I'd rather give money to the Republican Party than to you (I just threw up in my mouth a little bit).  You are just the worst kind of person, really, the worst.  Rabble-B

Rusty

Reread the last two posts now.  They had errors that I've edited.  I'm outta practice I guess.  Rabble-B

The San Francisco Bay Area

I live in the "Vegans, retired hippies, tree huggers, recycling nuts Asian students" neighborhood.  Click on the picture to see the whole map.  Rabble-B

Don't Start Performin' Now!

It pains me to know it's been three weeks since I've rabbled.  Luckily it's not due to lack of rabbling material rather I just don't know where the last three weeks have gone.  Disappeared, in a time warp.  Seriously.

Anyway, drinking pop (or any other liquid) out of a can or bottle through a straw is fucking stupid.  Lets forget about the extra, plastic waste that creates and concentrate on just how stupid drinking out of straws is anyway.  You can't control your consumption rate at all.  You're restricted to a tiny bumper to bumper highway of liquid that trickles into your mouth at a rate so slow it's impossible to quench your thirst and considering it' physically impossible to breathe while drinking you're lucky to strike the fine balance of not asphyxiating yourself but still getting a mouthful of precious sugary liquid.  Fuck straws.  Rabble-B