World War Whatever

The last American World War I veteran died yesterday.  Not World War II but World War I.   His name was Frank Buckles and he was 110.  Yeah, 110 years old.  He lied about his age, like many did at that time, to get into the military and served in "The Great War".  Oh yeah, he was also civilian POW in WWII in the Philippines.  I imagine that was not a good time. 

Attention my generation: We are a soft bunch of whiny, pussy, bitches.  I hope to God that we are not faced with a world crisis like those of WWI or WWII, though it seems lately that might soon be the case.  If so we will probably let it run us over and subject us going unnoticed while we scroll through our iPod trying to find a Lady Gaga song.  So here's to you Mr. Buckles, (in all seriousness) cheers to you for making us look so weak today, you are one of the toughest people to ever live.  Rabble-B

Read more about him here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41821018/ns/us_news-life/?gt1=43001

Live Ammo

Last Saturday some jackass attorney general from Indiana named Cox, of course, claimed the police should use "live ammo" to clear the protester out of the capitol building in Madison, WI. 

Really dude?  How fucking dumb to you have to be to think that as a public official you can get away with that comment.  It's not like you're some blogger idiot that no one pays attention to and this is the United States, not Libya.  We don't shoot unarmed protesters in this country you dipshit.  And what's more you don't even live or work in Wisconsin so why do you even care? 

And now you jammed your size 42 clown shoe in your mouth and got fired.  Besides, you are an attorney general, how do you not already know that comments like that get people in trouble.  The attorney general from Wisconsin should prosecute him for making death threats.  Good job moron.  Rabble-B

More here: http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/02/23/indiana.ammo.tweet/index.html?hpt=T2

Bieber, Bieber, Bieber!

So I guess Justin Bieber cut off his sweet signature hairdo.  Bad move pal.  Let me predict your future.  All your tween fans don't like your new look and turn their backs on you, in fact most cry.  One small town in Iowa even floods from the river of tears.  Your career takes a nose dive like a B-17 that received too much flak on a bombing run over Germany, flames and all.  You turn to coke and hookers, lots of it and lose your house and cars and whatever art you've collected to pay for it.  You go to rehab 7 times and check yourself out after 3 days each time.  You live in a cardboard box under the freeway and can't even afford a cheap hooker with three teeth.  I'm not going to lie, it's not a pretty picture. 

And what's even  worse, you've obsoleted one of the best websites around Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber so thanks for that.  I don't wish you any ill will my friend, just beware, you could end up like George Michael smoking crack and jerking off in front of a police officer in a public bathroom.  Oh, wait, that was two separate incidents.  Sorry.  Rabble-B

Thanks

So since no one submitted an photos the contest is off and I already ate the Pixie Stick anyway.  Your lack of participation is noted, thanks.  So in other news Stephen Colbert tired of the Huffington Post just posting AP and Reuters articles and shit written by other people (and specifically articles about Stephen Colbert himself without permission, or something) launched his own awesome website The Colbuffington Re-Post.  Actually it's just the Huffington Post website with his name at the top but it's rad and you should take a visit.  It's not like you're too busy taking shirtless cell phone photos of yourself and uploading them onto your computer for contest submissions, what else would you be doing on the computer?  You have the time.  Rabble-B

Your best Impression

I was so inspired by dumbass Congressman Christopher Lee's photo he posted responding to a Craigslist date ad (see my rabble from 2-9-11) I decided to start my first Rabble contest.  I challenge you all to submit your best camera phone captured impression of Congressman Lee.  Click on the link in my 2-9-11 post for his picture.  The rules are that you have to be shirtless (girls can wear a bikini top or sports bra or something) and it has to be taken into a mirror with a cell phone.  The winner gets a purple Pixie Stick, if I don't eat it first.  Ok, looking forward to your submissions.  I'll start.  Rabble-B

Double Leaning Jowler/Quote of the Week

Happy Birthday to Lady Caroline!  May someday you roll a double leaning jowler in the championship round of a PTP World Tour. 

Also, quote of the week, "I was born on a fishing trawler on the ocean in Canada.  I wasn't breathing when I came out and they thought I was a girl and named me Sarah for a while." - Luke Pinnow  (This may not be an exact quote but it was all said by Mr. Pinnow and is all true).

Hahahahahahahaha!

Pretty soon we won't have a Congress anymore, thank God.  Rabble-B

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41498568/ns/politics-capitol_hill/?GT1=43001

Suck it Ben!

You are a belly crawling scumbag of the first order.  I don't get how you rape a woman, get away with it, then get to continue to play football and go to the Superbowl.  Fuck you Ben Rothelisberger, if that is your real name.  I hope Clay Matthews pounds you into the turf and you lay bleeding and broken and have to retire tomorrow.  GO PACKERS!  Rabble-B

Rocket from the Tap

Oh good, because up until now perchlorate was good for us.  Why are we just now limiting rocket fuel ingredients in our tap water?  How about eliminating them all together?  Whoa, whoa, whoa, that is way too extreme.  Giant sigh combined with eye roll.  Also, watch the film Gasland when the dude lights his tapwater on fire.  Seriously.  Rabble-B

From the AP: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41386995/ns/health-health_care/

Don't be an asshole

Bill O'Reilly is being an asshole again.  Are we surprised?  No.  But this is just hilarious and idiotic.  I don't care if you believe in God or Gods or whomever or nothing at all, the Earth's tides are evidence neither for or against the existence of God.  Bill, level with me here pal.  You did this just to see how many people would freak out right?  After you the tape stopped rolling you kicked back with your production crew, grabbed a cocktail and laughed at yourself right?  "How'd the moon get there?"  I put it there Bill, I did it just to screw with you!  Sigh...  Rabble-B

Watch the video.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/02/bill-oreilly-moon-tides_n_817723.html

What the shit man?!

The following is an except from an msnbc article today.  It reads like a fucking fantasy novel or a post apocalyptic hell.  People riding around on camels throwing molotov cocktails and whipping people?  What the shit?!  That's insanity!  For fuck's sake stop it let eh people chose their own future.  Fuck off Mubarak and retire to the French Riviera or something.  And hey, Obama!  I know you need to tread lightly and Egypt is an ally and we've given them a shitload of money and blah blah...  Buck up pal and support the human right of self determination that is the foundation of America and for which we as a nation so boldly proclaim when it is easy and shamefully shrink from when it's difficult to say.  Rabble-B

CAIRO — Thousands of supporters and opponents of President Hosni Mubarak battled in Cairo's main square Wednesday, raining stones, bottles and firebombs on each other as Egypt's unrest abruptly turned violent. At least three people were killed and more than 600 injured.

In what appeared to be an orchestrated attack, some government backers, wielding whips, charged into Tahrir Square on horses and camels; others threw petrol bombs from rooftops.
The anti-government protesters accused Mubarak's regime of unleashing a force of paid thugs and plainclothes police to crush their nine-day-old movement demanding Mubarak's immediate ouster after a nearly three-decade reign.