Good to Go Where?

No, it's not so good to go, you're wrong.  So in the Puget Sound now the man is starting to toll some of our roadways because they've wasted all our tax dollars on God knows what instead of fixing our roads.  So they designed the Good to Go, automated tolling so you don't have to stop at a toll booth.  Ok, cool...  Except the first Good to Go toll sensors, on the Tacoma Narrows bridge, are not compatible with the new tolling sensors on the 520 bridge.  So they have to replace the Tacoma Narrows sensors, oh, and on Hwy 167 as well.  Seriously? How much is that going to cost?  What the fuck man?!  Whose brilliant idea was it to use two incompatible tolling systems and when is their ass getting fired for wasting tax dollars?  Why couldn't you just get it right the first time and make all the sensors the same from the beginning.  It's not like you didn't know other roads would be tolled later on.  FUCK!  I've said it before, I have no problem with taxes and paying my share, but in this case the state might as well have a bonfire in the capitol building burning them to stay warm.  That would probably be a better use anyway, they could save on the heating bill.  Rabble-B

And you didn't notice?

Why in films and television suspects tailed by the cops, or whomever, never notice their being followed?  In every instance the car following is well within view of the suspect.  I mean, you're going to look in your rearview every now and then and you're going to see the same vehicle like 50 feet back right?  Maybe it says something more about the one being followed (that they are an idiot) than the skills of the tailing driver but you think to be less conspicuous you'd want to hang back a ways.  The best is when they follow someone out of the city and then it's just two cars on a lonely dirt road in the middle of nowhere.  Dude!  They're going to notice you behind them for like 20 miles!  Or, maybe I should say, "Dude!  How did you not see the car following you for the last 20 miles and get suspicious?  You're dumping dead hookers in the swamp right while the cops are watching!  How stupid can you be?!"  Rabble-B

What are my options?

So I know that I am the only one in the world who leaves and/or listens to voicemail messages any more but whatever happened to a short greeting from the person you called and a beep?  Now after the message you get like 5 minutes of a soothing female voice telling you all sorts of shit that you don't care about.  "To send a fax press 4".  Seriously?  How am I supposed to send a fax from my cellphone?  Where do I put the paper?  It's fucking stupid.  Or I also like, "after you leave a message you may hang up or press 1 for more options".  Options?  What options?  Like I can press 3 and actually get to talk to the person I was calling?  Because that's the only other option I care about.  If I want a #4 combo meal I'll go to Wendy's and not try to make phone calls.  Just wait, 'til your carrier starts advertising on your voicemail (Just like Comcast.  Hey, guys, I already subscribe.  When I'm scrolling through the show guide or on demand I don't need advertising, you already have my business.  Fuck off.), then NOBODY would leave messages anymore...  Rabble-B

Pump You Up

So Barry Bonds is being indicted now for lying to a grand jury in a 2007 investigation into steroid use in baseball.  Remember all that shit?  When congress held hearings about it and they were sad and disappointed.  wawawawaawwaaaaaaahhh.  Crybabies.  Remember when MLB was a private organization and they can do whatever they want and why did congress even give a shit and waste my tax dollars and time on investigating something that has nothing to do with running the country?  Yeah, I remember that shit. 

Well, now we're wasting more time and money prosecuting Bonds this time.  Who fucking cares?!  Why can't we use this time and money to prosecute a rapist or murderer?  What would really hurt him more anyway is MLB stripping his homerun crown.  Fuck him, he was on steroids, when he hit all those homeruns.  You're out pal.

But our legal system shouldn't care anyway, MLB is a private organization.  Leave it to the public, they'll get pissed off and stop going to games and MLB will lose huge amounts of revenue.  That is the only thing that will get their attention and change things.  And besides, baseball sucks anyway.  Damn them for wasting my time writing this too.  Rabble-B

More here: http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/Barry-Bonds-perjury-trial-begins-032111?GT1=43001

A Fleeting Encounter

If someone could make cotton candy last even just three seconds in your mouth instead of disintegrating on contact they would make untold millions of dollars.  And I would be 400lbs.  Rabble-B

Extreme!

The best thing I saw today was a giant window sticker on the back of a car (which I'm sure inhibited the driver's view of me behind her) that said, "Charlene Maurby-Extreme Real Estate Anywhere, Anytime" with her phone number and shit.  Extreme Charlene?  Yeah you're really extreme driving three mph under the speed limit in the passing lane on I-90.  You're really livin' on the edge.  Why don't you go be extreme in the far right lane and let me and the ten other cars behind me pass you so we can get to work on time?  I'll call you when I need to buy a house.  Thanks.  Rabble-B

You can't make this shit up

Nuclear meltdown?  Pppffff, in Vermont we've got real problems.  The best line is, "All of a sudden I felt something on my back and shoulders, scratching,"  Wtf?


Read this story, so awesome:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42109817/ns/us_news-weird_news/?gt1=43001

Milk

Yesterday was the Ides of March.  I took the opportunity to buy a half gallon of milk so I could eat Lucky charms out of my giant Lucky Charms bowl I got for Christmas.  Now we all know milk is perishable and the sell by date on the one I bought is March 29th.  So cool, I have two weeks to pound tons of Lucky Charms and Rice Chex.  Mmmmmm.  The milk carton next to the one I bought had sell by date of MAY 9TH!  What the shit is that?!  What kind of fucked up preservatives and cow hormone treatment do you have to come up with to make milk last almost two months?  I think if you drink that shit you probably grow a third eye or something.  Whatever makes it last so long can't be good for your body (not that milk is inherently great for you but it has calcium and potassium and it's where cheese comes from so needless to say I'm going to go with milk being awesome on the whole).  So, hey, Darigold, you suck!  Stop poisoning your cows and customers with intergalactic, unperishable, steroid, death milk!  Rabble-B

Quote of the Week

"You would be surprised how many women’s restrooms have pee all over toilet seats- thus probably the floor… What’s the deal?" - Amber Persons
Per yesterday's Rabble a female reader emailed me, alerting me to an alarming fact about womens' bathrooms.  Now I know women and their bathroom cleanliness is often disgusting (no offense ladies but you know it's true, men aren't really any better though) but how the hell is there pee on the seat or on the floor ladies?  That is some bad freaking aim!  Or a woman way too drunk to be left alone in a bathroom.  So I concur, what exactly is the deal? 

Also, in more important news really, Japan got seriously fucked up by an earthquake today, which I'm sure you're already aware of.  Red Cross has set up a disaster relief fund here if you wish to help.  Rabble-B

Think about it

A public mens' bathroom has to be the worst place to walk around with your shoe laces untied.  Think about it.  For the women who may be confused by this statement, lets just say that not all (or in some cases very little) makes it into the urinal.  The rest... Rabble-B

The Fat Lady...

...has laryngitis and will not be performing tonight.  There's hope for humanity.  Rush Holt, a Democratic Congressman from New Jersey, of all places, beat the IBM super computer Watson, at Jeopardy.  This comes just weeks after Watson whipped Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter (the two top all time winners at Jeopardy) on the show. 

Of course every Democrat is saying, "Of course it was a Democrat, we're so smart!" and every Republican is saying, "Who cares, it's not the first time a human has defeated Watson."  Well, who gives a shit either way, just be happy that humans can still outwit and control our creations.  Remember the Terminator films?  Skynet tried to kill everybody.  Fuck that noise.  Go humans!  Rabble-B

More here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/01/rush-holt-jeopardy-watson-_n_829672.html