Thursday, July 15, 2010

Parking Garages

What the fuck is up with parking garages?!  Seriously, are parking garages only designed by first year architect students at a second rate technical school?  I defy you to think of a parking garage that is easy to navigate and drive through.  Up in the air or down in the ground, they all suck.  I can hear the design conversation now, "Ok, so in this one we're going to have drivers enter and drive around on the left side of the road the whole time.  That will make things more efficient."  "In this garage we're going to have them enter on the left and then half way up switch over and drive on the right.  Genius!"  "We have a limited space this time boys so we're going to make every spot just big enough to fit a shopping cart and a boombox in and then we can squeeze an extra 75 spaces in."  "Ok, so to make sure people know where they left their vehicle we're going to use a combination of several letters, colors, animals and past losing presidential candidates.  So you will park in R, Blue Hyena, Mondale."  Ugh.  I have a message for all parking garage designers out there. 

Hey, fucktards, maybe someday you could design a parking garage that actually accommodates cars and isn't horribly confusing to drive in.  How about starting with one with a ceiling higher than 6' so a contractor or landscaper or who the fuck ever person that actually needs a uses a truck (no, not you rich, suburban mom in your giant Ford Expedition, I feel no sympathy for you) can park.  Or maybe you could figure out a way to not have 15 different signs telling me to go this way and then that way and despite what the last sign said, this is not an exit.  Just sayin', you know.  Or, what about a garage big enough that I don't have to make an 18 point turn in my Honda Civic to avoid backing into the car across the way?  Or, is that asking too much.  I'm sorry.  Oh, wait, I'm not.  I'm pretty sure I could take some crayons and scrawl something down on a paper towel sheet that would function better than any parking garage I've ever driven in.  It's not difficult, it's your job.  For fuck's sake man!   Rabble-B

2 comments:

  1. Defiantly calling bullshit on this one. Pacific place is very reasonably laid out. Also it's the cheapest and most central. How hard is it to understand that parking garages are just going to be shitty and then navigate well with that knowledge. Or take a bus? Ride your bike? Walk? Suck it car junkie, you cant have your cake and drive it, too.

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  2. Did you mean "definitely" or "defiantly (as you wrote) calling bullshit on this one."? Cuz either way it works, I guess. But on topic, I'm calling bullshit on your comment. You don't even have a car! You can't have your bike and ride it too. Suck wind, or something...

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