You have got to be fucking kidding me...

This guy has obviously lost his ability to judge what is and is not appropriate in public.  And the chick just stands there like she's bored.  What is wrong with people?!?!  Rabble-B

Click to see the Worst Wedding DJ EVER!

Dumber and Dumberer

No, not the third installment of Dumb and Dumber, which happens to be one of my favorite movies of which I've never seen in it's entirety.  I always used to catch it around 4pm on a weekday during summer vacation and pick it up about 2/3 the way through.

No, what I am referring to is really more of a question.  Does anyone else out there constantly run into people who by conversing with them make you feel dumber?  Seriously, I meet people everyday and have conversations and they are so dumb and clueless just talking to them sucks my will to live.  These conversations are the mental equivalent of failing to qualify for the Special Olympics.  I mean what the fuck?!  How do these people make it through life as a complete moron?  The most telling symptom of this tragic, nameless disorder is when someone asks you a question, you provide an answer and then they ask THE SAME FUCKING QUESTION twice more during the conversation.  You might say, "Oh, well, obviously they're just not paying attention."  I say, "No!  They are actually dumberer (if that could actually be a word.  I think I will petition Websters and Wikipedia and Encyclopedia Britainica to put in a definition for 2011)."  They have no physical deficiencies, except maybe being a lazy fatass, just a mental retardation that cannot be classified because technically they are not mentally handicapped.  They receive no government aid and hold jobs and support families no problem.  Why then does it feel like I'm talking to a person who should've won last year's Darwin Award but somehow escaped with their life and are still out there causing the human species to get dumber and dumberer?  Rabble-B

Cornhole

So I really want to know how people can chew and mow and suck every little piece of corn off of a cob?  Just clean and gnawed down to nothing.  I chew the shit out of an ear of corn and at the end it still looks a Bernese Mountain Dog played fetch with it all gnarled and slobbery with half the kernels still on it.  How do you do it people?  If you're one of the clean corn eaters please email me or comment and tell me how you do it so I can stop feeling like I need it shaved off for me so I can eat it with a fork.  Rabble-B

Un-Rabble

Maybe the coolest thing I've ever heard of, the Rally to Restore Sanity.  October 30th, 2010 in Washington, DC at the Washington Monument on the National Mall.  This is for all of us that are too busy, too tired or annoyed to participate in the pathetic quagmire that passes for politics and press in this country.  If you are a rabid supporter of Palin, Tea Party, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Bill O'Reilly or any other of the liars, cheaters and thieves that we call politicians and newsmen (or women) then this is not for you.  I'm basically just paraphrasing what you can read here, Rally to Restore Sanity  It's about the raddest thing anyone has ever thought of, except maybe pizza or hotdogs or spaghetti...  Un-Rabble-B

Survive the Rabble

So Survivor Nicaragua premiered last night.  Not that I watched it, I did watch some of the first season, years ago, for the novelty which quickly wore off.  But really it's been like what, 10 years of survivor?  Every season is in some tropical paradise or maybe at least somewhere hot.  The only one so far that was remotely dangerous was Australia and that's simply due to the sheer number of deadly poisonous critters running around.  I mean, I'm sure I'm not the first one to think of this but when are we going to see Survivor Antarctica?  Where just not freezing to death affords you the chance to stick around and win money.  Or maybe North Pole so they have to battle polar bears instead of cuddly penguins.  Or what about Survivor South Central LA?  Guaranteed the person that wins that season is someone I don't want to mess with.  This tropical shit got boring like season 2 guys.  So, hey, NBC or CBS or whatever the hell channel it's on, writers!  You're getting paid a shitload of money to rehash the same stupid shit in a different location every year.  Think of something clever and creative for next season.  God knows America needs a little creativity these days.  Surprise us and we'll pretend we're excited.  Rabble-B

Cellphones are not lighters!

Ok, look drunk, 40-something, Microsoft-ie, Lexus driving, suburban, wannabe hippie (I still don't condone being a hippie but a wannabe hippie is just pathetic) who paid $350 for a pair of Journey tickets at the outdoor amphitheatre on the local Indian reservation, don't be an idiot.  Holding a lighter up at a show is stupid enough but you can't just apply modern technology to a 60's convention and think you're clever.  When they blast into "Open Arms" your cellphone is not the same as a fucking lighter!  You can't just turn on your phone during a ballad and sway back and forth and time travel to Haight Ashbury in 1969.  What you can do is look like a dipshit.  Maybe you should start smoking so you'll actually have a lighter in your pocket for just such an occasion.  And if you're are one of those idiots that got the picture of a lighter app. for your iPhone and are waving it around at the Journey show, then you really look stupid.  I hope you drop it and the screen shatters.  Rabble-B

The High Flying Adventures of CAM-10

So I have a new and recurring feature for this thing.  It's pretty much just photos of my robot CAM-10, the perpetual humanoid model.  He travels all over the place and does some crazy stuff and now it will be shared with the public.

CAM-10 has been many places and had some crazy adventures we will cover in the future but this first installment is from his recent trip to San Francisco.  The first shot was hatching the plan, the second he lays waste the Golden Gate Bridge.  It is now lying pieces at the bottom of the Bay.  When asked for a quote he simply said, "CAM-10 smash!  Rrrraaarr!"  Sorry to those folks living in Marin County and whatnot...  Rabble-B

Quote of the Week

"If I don't vent then I'll start ramming!" - My grandfather (who, unlike most old folks is still and excellent driver) in reference to his road rage and how he chooses to yell at shitty drivers instead of ramming their vehicles with his.  Which we all know would feel much better for about 3 seconds until you have to deal with the consequences.  Rabble-B

Why did you bring your baby on this flight?

The only way small children and babies should be allowed on a plane is if there is a surcharge of $25 per hour of flight time for each other passenger within 5 rows front or back of said child. If the child/baby make a bunch of irritating noise during the flight those passengers collect the money for each hour of the flight. As you can imagine, this could become prohibitively expensive for the parents and they might think twice about bringing their annoying ass baby on a plane. Rabble-b.

Pirate the Radio

Why is it anytime I happen to hear my local alternative radio station it's a 10 year old Red Hot Chili Peppers song, Kids from MGMT or one of three shitty songs by Kings of Leon (just to clarify, all these groups suck dick and I'm tired of hearing them and people talk about them everywhere I go)?  If it's a rare day it might be a Muse song. 

But really guys, there is an enormous catalog of good music available to play.  How is it you can only seem to repeat the same like 6 songs day after day and still think you are doing something that isn't destroying society.  For fuck's sake, stop it!  Rabble-B