RV-ing

Ok, look, RV-ing is not camping.  "Roughing it" is sleeping on a rock with a wet sleeping bag at 10,000' in a sudden September snowstorm.  Or huddling up in a tent all night in Alaska with a shotgun in your hands in a wind storm with grizzly bears outside knocking down your "bear fence" and chewing holes in your raft.  There's nothing about flush toilets, satellite TV and a microwave that has anything to do with camping.  You know, even a car is pushing it but RV's are like driving around in a small house.  But certainly a sleeping bag and a tent are requirements of camping.  And if it's summer lose the tent. 

Have you ever driven along the freeway and seen a sign for Campers World?  Yeah, don't be fooled, it's an RV store.  What the fuck? 

So guess what jackass dude in the giant fucking motorhome I'm stuck behind crawling down the gravel road 6 inches wider than the fucking motorhome itself?  You're an idiot.  Get out of the way and get that fucking monstrosity of diesel, aluminum and glass back on pavement.  No, instead just drive it over to Montana and into one of the Anaconda settling ponds.  There's already enough weird machinery shit in those lakes no one will even notice and it's already a Superfund site so don't worry about all the fuel and toxic shit leaking out.  I also find it ironic and frightening that the worst drivers on the road (old people) are usually the ones piloting such a beast.  Rabble-B

Paseoooooooooooo!!!

Ok, check it out, Paseo, I understand you're food is delicious.  You introduced me to the wonders of Cuban food and now I can't live without it in my belly.  I know you're rated number one in Seattle on Urbanspoon.  And yes, I'm aware of the many reviews expounding on your succulent menu items.  And you know what?  I crave your food all the time.

But you know what else?  Fuck you.  Yeah, that's right, fuck you.  You're just a tease.  You are a sandwich shop that constantly runs out of bread.  I know you have plenty of other items on your menu (in fact your rice and beans are probably the tastiest around).  But guess what, your most popular item, and the one that gets written up all the time, is the Cuban Roast (formerly the Midnight Cuban, a way cooler name), A SANDWICH!  You're known as a sandwich shop so how the fuck do you constantly run out of bread?  Do you not want to make more money?  Would you rather me spend my money elsewhere on inferior sandwiches?  Because that's what happens every time I try to get a sandwich at your joint you're out of fucking bread!  If I bring my own baguette will you make me a sandwich because otherwise I'm done.  I can't live with the depressing let down of seeing the same "sold out of all sandwiches" up over the menu every time I walk up hungry and hopeful only to sulk away rabbley and still starving.  So here's a tip, you're a sandwich shop, make sure you don't run out of bread!  Either that or close at 5pm so there's no confusion as to whether you'll be able to make me a sandwich at 7pm.  Well, I suppose there's no confusion anymore is there?  I'll just bet on not being able to enjoy and sandwich and go elsewhere and curse your name.  Rabble-B

Six of One

Ok, look, Obama is not a communist and Bush was not a Nazi.  Come on people, do you realize what you are saying when you make ignorant comments like that?  Yeah, I know they both suck.  For fuck's sake it doesn't matter who is in office it's the same bullshit and the average American is still going to get screwed somehow so shut the fuck up or put your money where your mouth is and start a non profit that will actually reform the way our country is run.  Rabble-B

Top 5 Methods of Transportation in Montana

#1 Truck, preferably a Ford F250, F350 or Dodge diesel, maybe a dually (we're not talking about some festy ass Toyota lifted 8 inches, super swamper tires and no muffler with pipes re-routed out the side of the cab, half a Fox Racing sticker on the back of the cab with a three toothed, skoal spitting racist, redneck, mullet equipped 30 something, white male with 3 illegitimate children behind the wheel.  No, Montanans actually use their trucks for doing things like, hauling trailers or boats or hay.  They have tools and machinery they need to cart around.  Feed for the horses and lumber for building barns and shit.  They don't call it their "rig", it's their truck and when it gets muddy they wash it off instead of driving it around all fucked up to look cool.  They are real truck driving people and don't feel the need to make you look at how cool and big their truck is and the inverse proportion it is to the size of their wiener.  Yeah, that's amateur hour Idaho shit).
#2 Drift boat/raft-Many folks' second vehicle, these are towed behind every third truck around Missoula or Bozeman and considering how many rivers abound in the state this is not surprising.
#3 Snowmobile-If there's snow on the ground you can bet you'll be commuting via Polaris.
#4 ATV- Not racing quads around in the woods.  ATV's are for getting around on the ranch and hauling giant elk carcasses out of the woods so you can butcher them and store meat in the freezer for the winter.
#5 Tractor- Lots of land in Big Sky Country.  If I had a ranch in Montana I'd own a John Deere. Rabble-B

Carbon Credits

So I understand, there's a lot of CO2 in the atmosphere and it's involved in global warming which humans are probably, at least partially responsible for.  I don't really care. 

What pisses me off is that there are companies now out there making money by selling you a carbon credit and making you think you're doing something for the environment.  What the fuck is a carbon credit and why do I need one?  I am environmentally conscious, I volunteer my time for good causes.  I try to make a small impact.  So why are you trying to get me to buy some made up, bullshit idea and trust you to spend my money in a way that offsets my "carbon footprint" and then you give me a bumper sticker that says, "This car's carbon footprint offset by Terrapass" (a company based in hippie central, San Francisco), to put on my car that you hope I continue to drive around so I'll feel bad and give you more money.  Yeah, well, fuck you.  Isn't that bumper sticker made of plastic?  And isn't plastic environmentally toxic and the manufacture of some types releases greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere?  Pretty sure CFC's were used for a long time in the manufacture of certain plastics and they depleted the ozone layer and now we all get skin cancer.  Pretty sure several types of plastics are synthesized from oil and, well, that leads us right back to CO2 emission doesn't it?  So, Terrapass, who is selling you carbon credits for your stickers?  Huh, what was that?  Hell give me some money and I'll build a windmill to power my house.  That would be rad and environmentally conscious.  Oh, that's not how it works I guess.  You do however, when I get married, offer a wedding carbon offset.  Because that's what I'll be concerned about that day, all those tiny CO2 bubbles released out of the champagne.  Dammit, How could I be so selfish?!.  Good to know you care about my happiness.

Also, one of that ways these companies offset your carbon footprint is investing your money in hydroelectric power.  Great.  Clean, renewable energy.  Except I'll never let you use my hard earned dollars to support the continued decimation of wild salmon and steelhead stocks across the West coast of the continent.  More dams?  No fucking way, not with my money.  Oh and they also use your money to support "forestry".  Pretty vague.  So does that mean clear cutting vast swaths of trees that suck up the CO2 we produce and then planting some more in their place, walking away while the whole hillside collapses into a river because you destroyed the root structure holding it all together?  Hmm.  You know what, why don't we take all the money everyone wants to donate to offset the clown sized footprint and use it for real, tangible solutions, like, Plant your own fucking trees people!  It's not hard.  You dig a hole and put the seedling in the hole and push dirt back in.  Bam, less CO2.  Or maybe instead of paying someone else to do something for the environment you could take a day out of your jam packed schedule and volunteer your own time and money directly.  Try American Rivers for starters or even the fucking Sierra Club.  Just do something real, don't pay some bogus company money so you can feel better about driving around in your Subaru.  Think global, act local.  Isn't that the mantra?  I think that applies perfectly.  Rabble-B

Back pockets are important...

...and not just for your wallet.  Take a look at these two pictures.  See for yourself, the back pocektless jeans picture is gross!

I don't care who you are, 21 year old model, old white trash with front butt, flaming gay man in your 40's, wall street banker, pay attention.  You need back pockets on your jeans.  You just do.

I don't want to get all backward white hat, brossif, frat boy douche bag here but trust me, it freaks me out when you walk around and there are no pockets accenting your butt.  You need one pocket for each cheek.  Don't question it, just chalk it up to one of life's mysteries like why a pb & j sandwich just tastes so much better microwaved for 8 seconds.  Or, how you can open the door and start a Toyota Prius without a key!

Back pockets on jeans.  It should be a law.  In, Oklahoma I'm pretty sure they have a "no sagging" pants law so why not a mandatory back pockets on jeans law?  Rabble-B

Journalism, what's that?

I apologize for the lack of rabbling this last week.  I will be more consistent except this weekend when I am in Montana where they don't have the internet yet. 

Jon Stewart & company are genius's.  Watch the first piece of last Thursday's Daily Show about Fox News and nuclear weapons.  Fucking really?  They don't even pretend to care about news or facts anymore.  They don't even remember what their boy Reagan stood for.  Too bad this is so funny when it's actually just tragic that so many people just eat this shit up.  It's not just Fox either, it's everywhere and it's complete bullshit.  Why do I have to read or Watch the BBC for something that passes for legitimate journalism? 

Anyway, since I hate technology and it hates me I have no idea how to post a video on this thing so just click on the link below to watch and laugh or cry.  Rabble-B

http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/thu-april-8-2010-david-remnick

Show and Tell

Remember show and tell day in kindergarten?  That was always fun because you got to share something really special to you with your classmates (not that anyone else cared but the person actually showing their wares just bear with me).

Well, sometimes it sucked because they usually did it in alphabetical order and by the time they got to "W" no one gave a shit about your baseball bat you brought because maybe somebody up around like, "I" already showed a wiffle ball bat they played with in their backyard.  Even though you had a really rad wood bat to show that you got from Ken Griffey Jr. signed for you after he hit a walk off (game winning, for you non sports versed readers) homerun with it.  Your story and bat are way fucking cooler than the dumb kid with the wiffle ball bat but no one cared because they already saw a bat that day.  Your shit was old news and maybe they even thought you spied on him and copied him or some stupid shit.  You'd actually been waiting a really long time for show and tell day to bring out your kick ass bat but no one knew or cared by that point.

So hey, kid with the wiffle ball bat, kiss my lily white ass! Rabble-B

One of the Best Ever

Another friend died last week.  Todd was one of the most giving and happiest people I've ever heard of.  I was always envious of him for being able to always see the good side of everything.  Un-fucking-fair.  Rabble, Rabble Rabble- B

Todd Burt

Todd Burt

Todd Franklin Burt, 42, of Marysville, WA, passed away suddenly on March 26, 2010 in Oregon while on a fishing trip.
Todd was born January 7, 1968 in Seattle, Washington. He lived in Mountlake Terrace, Washington for many years before the family finally settled in Marysville, Washington from which he graduated from Marysville-Pilchuck High School on 1986. Todd also attended Eckerd College on 1992.
Todd has worked at many different kinds of careers, selling cars, working in a lumber yard, tiling floors and various other manual jobs he discovered his best asset was talking. He loved selling products he believed in and was good at it. He had worked at various technology companies from F5 to Imprivata to, most recently, AID Networks.
Todd's religion was fishing. Fly fishing mostly but any kind of fishing would make him smile. Through his careers he was able to fish in some of the best rivers, lakes and oceans in the world. He didn't even care if he caught anything. Just standing in the water casting he felt he was at home. Catch and release was his motto but sometimes you got to keep the big ones. He started fishing young with his dad going to places like Point No Point and Wesport. He tied his own fly ties and loved to take his son, and at times his nephew, out casting. Soon they developed the love of the sport and they will go forward with what he has taught them.
In 1999 he met and eventually married Mirka Strnad. In May of 2001 his son, Jack, was born in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. They eventually moved to North Carolina and finally back to Seattle, Washington where they both felt was always home. As time went they divorced but continued raising Jack as a family. With love.
A couple of years ago Todd met this blonde who just wouldn't stop smiling. Heather Meikle and Todd were going to be married in the future. She was the 'Ying' to his 'Yang'.
Todd is survived by his son, Jack; his parents, Frank and Kathy Burt, of Marysville, WA; his sister, Kassandra (Kevin Jones), of Stanwood, WA; and his fiance, Heather Meikle, of Kirkland, WA. He also leaves behind his nephews, Aleksander, Zachary, Travis; and niece, Sandy; many aunts and uncles; dozens of cousins; along with the entire fishing community. Todd was a friend to many but no one could be closer than Brent, Curt, O'Claire, Matt, 'Ing' and Rob. Thanks guys for being there for him.
A viewing will be held from 10 a.m. - 7 p.m. on Monday, April 5, 2010, and 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. on Tuesday April 6, at Shaefer-Shipman Funeral Home. Funeral services will be held at 1 p.m. on April 6, at Shaefer-Shipman Funeral Home, 804 State Ave., Marysville, WA, with a celebration of life to follow the service at the same location.
In lieu of flowers please donate to a cause of your choosing. A trust fund has also been set up for Jack and donations to that can be made to the UTA account made out to Jack Todd Burt at any Case Manhattan Bank.
"When you are on the river, ocean or in the woods, you are closer to the truth you'll ever get." Jack Leonard

So you're a frog?

The other day a guy told me he was amphibious, confused with what he was actually trying to say which was that he is ambidextrous.  So what, you live in a pond behind the local elementary school?  How do you confuse those two words?  I mean, shit man.  What an uneducated, unexciting zombie culture we've become.  Rabble-B

Are you Fucking Kidding Me?!

What the fuck is wrong with people?  Why would you ever produce a game where the object is to rape someone? Seriously, to the creators of this game FUCK YOU!  And to Jim Gardner (some Limey quoted in this article) FUCK YOU too!  To the government of Japan for also not having anti-child pornography laws FUCK YOU!  And fuck the internet and the people on it for disseminating this game and further pissing me off.  This deserves more rabbles than usual so...  Rabble, Rabble Rabble-B
 

'RapeLay' video game goes viral amid outrage

By Kyung Lah, CNN

March 31, 2010 3:08 a.m. EDT

Tokyo, Japan (CNN) -- The game begins with a teenage girl on a subway platform. She notices you are looking at her and asks, "Can I help you with something?"
That is when you, the player, can choose your method of assault.
With the click of your mouse, you can grope her and lift her skirt. Then you can follow her aboard the train, assaulting her sister and her mother.
As you continue to play, "friends" join in and in a series of graphic, interactive scenes, you can corner the women, rape them again and again.
The game allows you to even impregnate a girl and urge her to have an abortion. The reason behind your assault, explains the game, is that the teenage girl has accused you of molesting her on the train. The motive is revenge.
It is little wonder that the game, titled RapeLay, sparked international outrage from women's groups. Taina Bien-Aime helped yank the game off store shelves worldwide.
"This was a game that had absolutely no place on the market," said Taina Bien-Aime of women's rights organization Equality Now which has campaigned for the game to be taken off the shelves.
But the controversy that led to stopping sales of the game instead took it viral.
That was how Lucy Kibble and Jim Gardner in Britain heard about it.
"I think the idea that you can do it by wholesale banning is just never going to work anyway because we downloaded it for free off the Internet," Gardner said.
In the case of RapeLay, he was right. It is still readily available on dozens of Web sites, sometimes for free.
What happened to RapeLay is an example, said Bien-Aime, of why Japan needs to police game makers.
"It's obviously very difficult to curtail activity on the Internet. But the governments do have a role in trying to regulate this sort of extreme pornography of children, both in their countries, and through the Internet ," she said, adding that they were calling for the Japanese government "to ban all games that promote and simulate sexual violence, sexual torture, stalking and rape against women and girls. And there are plenty of games like that. "
Those games are known as "hentai games." Almost all feature girlish-looking characters. Some of the games are violent -- depicting rape, torture and bondage in detail.
Step into a game shop in Akihabara, Japan's electronics district, and hentai games are readily available. In minutes, we found a game similar to RapeLay. The object here is also revenge: Find and rape the woman who fired the player from his imaginary job. Along the way, the player can rape a number of other girls and women.
Hentai games are not new to Japan. This country has long produced products the rest of the world would call pornographic. But before the arrival of the Internet, such items stayed in Japan. Now, once a game goes on sale in Tokyo, it is digitized and shared everywhere.
Japan does have censorship laws for sexual content. In games and videos, genitalia are obscured, even if it is animated. But Japan's laws do not restrict the themes and ideas of the games.
A national law that would make possession of real and virtual images of child porn illegal is under discussion, but no serious legislation has moved forward in Japan's parliament.
CNN contacted the Gender Equality Promotion Division in the Gender Equality Bureau of Japan's Cabinet Office, which is charged with handling the hentai gaming issue.
Despite repeated calls over a period of weeks, no representative from the government office would comment to CNN on camera. The office refused to make a statement on paper. A spokeswoman would only say over the telephone that the Japanese government was aware that the games were a problem and it was checking to see if self-policing by the gaming industry was enough.
A member of the Institute of Contents Culture, who did not want to give CNN his name, said restricting game themes limits freedom of expression.
"In my opinion, RapeLay's storyline went too far. However, if a game creator wants to express something and create content out of it, a government or public entity shouldn't have the power to restrain it."
Lucy Kibble and Jim Gardner, the gamers in Britain, said trying to control games on the Internet was futile and that content control was up to parents.

"The idea of banning it, or telling people what they can and can't do just because on the off chance some kid might get involved with it is just ridiculous," said Gardner.