The Rabbler

Sourdough bread, lightly toasted
Oven roasted, peppered turkey
Peppered bacon (4 slices)
Swiss & white cheddar cheese
Mixed greens
Walla Walla sweet onions
Sprouts
Spicy brown deli mustard
Salt & Pepper
Olive oil (small amount)

Now I just need a restaurant to put it on their menu.  Unrabble-B

Walk Me Amadeus

Next bus, #22 in 72 minutes and 76 minutes.

Yeah, because you know what is really helpful, to wait over an hour for a bus but knowing it's not a big deal if you miss it because rest assured that another one will come four minutes later.  Yeah, that's really fucking helpful now, 72 minutes earlier.  I'll walk, thanks.  Rabble-B

Also, my grandmother turns 85 today.  Woohoo!  Unrabble-B

The Revolution in Spreading

This was spotted in Dublin by my friend Sara.  We're infesting Northern Europe.  Next stop Moscow.  Believe the hype.  Unrabble-B

"My eyes, the goggles do nothing!'

Northern Californians had the opportunity to view a rare annular eclipse last Sunday.  And nothing would stop them from seeing it apparently.  At the local Safeway in Truckee I saw more than one person hold three pairs of sunglasses up to their faces so they could look up and see the mighty eclipse. 

You know, I had no idea that three pairs of sunglasses allowed you to look directly at the sun.  Oh, that's because it doesn't, not even for a second, because it's the fucking sun!  "Well, you know, with one pair you can kind of look at the sun for just a second so I figured with three, man, you can stare at that sucker all day long." 

Yeah man you just gaze away with that open mouth drooling down your chin.  Just don't get into your car and drive off afterward.  And, don't ever have children, you dumbass!  Rabble-B

Where am I?

You know what makes me rabbley?  When like six different things get me really rabbley and I want to rabble about them but by the time I get to a computer I can't remember a single one.  Though he probably doesn't remember, Andy Warhol described it well, "My mind is like a tape recorder with one button, erase."  Or in more festy terms, I suffer from CRS, "Can't Remember Shit."  On top of that I can't hear worth a shit either.  I fear what it will be like when I'm sixty, though I'm not sure I'll have the sense to care by then so yeah, whatever.  Rabble-B

Improving on Perfection

Remember in the 80's when you were a kid?  Remember when Reeboks were the freshest kicks around?  No one could touch them.  Nike Air Flight, please...  And then they came out with the Reebok Pump!  It blew your mind, don't deny it, I was there (in the 80's that is).  Of course we couldn't afford a ridiculously priced $100+ pair of shoes but still the Reebok Pump was the new pinnacle of footwear awesomeness.

And then I found this:

I almost cried when I pick up the box, glowing blue, accented with wisps of white and brown.  My favorite cereal-that I wasn't really allowed to each much as a kid-not ruined like most other childhood memories (I still hate you Michael Bay.  See Rabble from 03/26/12) but perfection improved.  Imagine if Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Frosted Flakes had a baby, it would be the deliciousness that is Frosted Toast Crunch.  It's as good as it looks.  Unrabble-B

Slow Train a Comin' Derailed into a Fiery Wreck

Ok, onto the Train rabbling I promised. 

So, I never really paid attention to Train or their lyrics.  They're beyond terrible, and are but one of many bands contributing to the slow asphixiation or rock music, that much I know.  But maybe I should be walking the tracks more often.  Unbeknownst to me it's seems Train writes some of the most amazingly retarded and comical lyrics ever penned and it turns out their songs are highly entertaining.  None more so than the first single from their latest record. 

You Can Finally Meet My Mom is a Phd in how not to write lyrics boiled down to a single song.  I was enlightened to this fact by another blog I Genuinely Enjoy Science.  Read this blog post by Dru Johnston on his deduction of and passion for Train lyrics.  His prose and comedy I could never hope to live up to.  This is a post about Train's new song 'You Can Finally Meet my Mom'

Then watch the video.  After you've cleaned the vomit off the front of your shirt and wiped the tears from your eyes go listen to the new Jack White record I was talking about.  You'll feel better.  Rabble-B

Another Degenerate

These days it seems Dave Grohl and Jack White are the only thing keeping rock music from suffering a horribly aurally agonizing death.  What with Kings of Leon and the latest release from Train (more rabbling about Train in a a few minutes) I'm really surprised rock music is breathing at all. 

And this asswipe, Ted Nugent, gets busted for poaching for the second time!  It seems the washed up rock star and right wing nutjob, NRA loving, potential assassin (seriously the Secret Service investigated him for making threats against president Obama) and all star douche illegally killed a black bear in Southest Alaska, after he wounded another one and neglected to track it down and finish what he started.  Read about it here http://news.yahoo.com/guilty-plea-planned-ted-nugent-ak-hunt-case-073148986.html. 

And this is after he didn't learn his lesson for getting busted poaching deer in California and airing the incident on television!  What's even better he is known as a big time hunter and for speaking out against poaching.

Wow, good fucking job dickwad!  Thanks for making hunters look like a bunch of selfish Neanderthals and thanks for contributing to the agonizing decline of rock 'n roll.  You suck.  I hope you get drunk and dive into the shallow end of your guitar shaped swimming pool.  Rabble-B

PS- The new Jack White record Blunderbuss is freakin' awesome.  Buy it.

Go to the Light Redux

Check out this lady in the video, the UV rays have broiled her skin and penetrated her brain.  She's the color of mahogany.  Her skin must feel like tanned buffalo hide.  It could probably deflect bullets. 

Best quote,"I'm not going to bring my little daughter into a 90 degree bed.  I mean, that's not normal."  No shit, no it's not.  Neither are you.  Do you own a mirror? 

She could make millions as the Coppertone spokesman, posterchild for sunscreen.  For fuck's sake.  I'd guess taking her daughter into a tanning booth isn't the only reason her daughter will grow up with severe social and mental issues.  But, maybe not, I mean it is New Jersey afterall.  GTL right?  GTL.  Rabble-B