Things I was thinking about today...

Donald Trump...  I really don't know what to say, the guy is a living, breathing cartoon.  If you've been watching the news lately you'll know that he is the funniest comedian that's been around in a while, everything he says is pure comedy and he's totally insane.  Like Jon Stewart said, "I hope he runs for president."  Cross your fingers.

So Congress is finally getting around to passing a 9/11 first responders bill to help out all the brave folks that got cancer and other horrible afflictions from digging around for bodies in the World Trade Center rubble.  It's about fucking time you assholes.  But, of course it can't be that easy, or it just wouldn't be democracy in action.  Republican Rep. Cliff Stevens from Florida (yeah, of course he's from Florida, land of everything beyond belief), proposed a last minute rider to the bill that would require an FBI background check for all people receiving money from the bill to make sure they aren't a terrorist.  I mean, Donald Trump leaves me speechless but this isn't even funny.  How fucking classless and completely brain dead do you have to be to support something like that, let alone be the asshole that proposed it.  Seriously, do you think any single one of the rescue workers that responded to 9/11 could possibly be a terrorist?  Haha, jokes on them now they have cancer, that'll teach 'em to be terrorists.  Do you also think that magical unicorns shooting lasers out of their horns will fight off the coming alien invasion and then afterward to celebrate we can all strip down to bra and panties and ride around on our unicorn saviors throwing water balloons at each other?  Because that's about how stupid you sound Cliff.  I think you should be arrested for domestic terrorism and espionage and rot in Guantanamo for even bringing the subject up you unpatriotic, selfish, bellycrawling sphincter face. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/21/911-responders-screened-for-terror-ties_n_852198.html

And lastly, the US is considering giving arms to the Libyan rebels.  Ok, Obama, Congress and the military please take your seats for a history lesson, because you seem to have forgot some stuff.  No questions, no talking.

So remember when we gave weapons to Osama Bin Laden and the Taliban too, too fight the Soviets in the '80's?  Oh, haha, yeah, that turned out well.
Remember when we gave a bunch of guns to Saddam Hussein?  How did that one turn out for us?  Oh, umm, yeah, nevermind...
Remember when we armed the Contras in Nicaragua so they could fight the FSLN?  And then how Congress said that was illegal so we sold weapons to Iran and then sent the money to the Contras (Iran/Contra Scandal, you may have heard that term before)?  And then how the US government brought drugs into the country from Noriega in Panama and used the money to further fund the Contras?  No?  Oh, ok cool.
These are just three examples i thought of off the top of my head, I'm sure I could find countless more.

Pppssssssttt!  Hey, Obama, Pentagon, CIA, Joint Chiefs of Staff, Congress, I would recommend against supplying arms to the Libyan rebels.  You know, if it was me.  Just sayin'.  Rabble-B

Get Cut

So I heard about this a while ago but seems now it might go up for a vote.  The city of San Francisco is considering a ban on circumcision.  What?!  Seriously, you have nothing better to do with your time (like I don't know figure out how to fix massive budget shortfalls) than ban ancient religious practices that have no bearing on anyone other than that individual?  That's like banning gay, in the gayest city on earth no less.  It doesn't affect you so why do you care?  Leave men and their trimmed manhood alone.  "Oh, your circumcised?  That will definitely affect your ability to flip burgers.  Sorry, looks like In 'n Out isn't for you (literally you're always out, there's no in)." Circumcision has been around for several thousand years and it's worked fine so far.  Not circumcised?  Cool, you're lucky to have a turtleneck to keep warm, but if I want my kid to get cut I should have that right as a parent.  It is in no way harmful and actually makes it more difficult for infections to occur in your junk.  I'm not even sure what the reasoning is behind the measure, other than controlling people.  Fucking big brother, go away. Rabble-B

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42784426/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/?GT1=43001

Until the last drop

If this is what your toothpaste tube looks like then you're driving me nuts.  Let me profile you, neurotic, pathological, OCD, cheapskate, just buy a new one make it easier on yourself and quit stressing me out.  You're going to have a aneurysm trying to squeeze the last pea sized drop of toothpaste out of your tube.  And for what?  To save 2 pennies?  Right...  Just admit defeat and go without brushing for the night and buy a new damn tube tomorrow morning.  And for real man, Tom's of Maine?  That stuff tastes like shit.  Rabble-B

Things I Learned This Week

First of all, I was right about everything in my post on March 22nd.  If only I ran the show, if only...

Don't ever trust someone with dreadlocks to cut your hair.  It's impossible for someone with the most unfortunate hairstyle in history (bald is way better) to know what a good hair cut looks like, let alone actually cut hair.

Don't ever vote for anyone who makes a statement on the floor of congress like oh, say, that over 90% of what Planned Parenthood does is perform abortions when, in reality, it's about 3%.  The man who made that statement?  Rep. John Kyl from Arizona.  When asked about the gross inaccuracy of his claim his office said it was never intended to be a factual statement.  I continue to be blown away by the stupidity of our elected officials.

The federal government almost shutdown.  The last time that happened was during the Clinton Administration but he used it as a tool to balance the budget.  Of course ten years later it hasn't been balanced since but ppssshhhaaa, who can count to a trillion anyway?  The reason the government almost shutdown and our congressmen were bitching and moaning like a bunch of little girls with skinned knees (part of it was John Kyl mentioned above)?  .19% of the budget.  Yeah, seriously, .19 fucking percent of the budget, like 30 some billion dollars.  Bill Gates gives away that much in a week for fucks sake.  How about you guys argue over some real budget reform like half a trillion dollars, that would at least raise the stakes a little bit.  Geez....

We all know Donald Trump is a dumbass but he's talking about running for president and then makes a remark like, "I have a great relationship with the blacks."  Now, that's not a terribly racist or bigoted statement just dumb and arrogant.  If you're going to run for president you can't say things like that.  You're not a construction worker, you're running for president, how far can you stick your foot in your own mouth?  Or, you know, maybe he's not that dumb...  He's probably not even going to run for president, he's just playing us like a fiddle.  Sigh.  Rabble-B

Also, Axelina Hawkalina McFris is officially a girl now.  Wuhoo!  Yay!  Unrabble-B

Mesh Jersey

So Snooki of Jersey Shore fame, now makes public speaking appearances for money, which is depressing enough in itself, but she recently got paid $32,000 to speak to students at Rutgers University.  What?!  Are you joking?!  How the fuck did that happen?!  No wonder the rest of the world is passing us by.  Our education system is obviously in shambles if Snooki is what passes for a guest speaker at a university, and this isn't the get your degree online University of Phoenix Topeka Campus.  It's fucking Rutgers, what I thought was a respected center of education.  What could she even talk about, implants, drunk blackouts, orange skin?  I know I already hate most of society but I used to think that universities were one of the last bastions of real thought and discourse.  Guess I was wrong, again.  Rabble-B

one inch

Yesterday was April 6th, and this is a shitty cellphone photo of my car, post window scraping, at 9pm.  If it's hard to see let me describe it for you.  There's an inch of snow on my car.  Spring has not sprung.  I am over it.  I am moving to Brazil.  I don't think it ever snows in April there, and they have peacock bass...  RABBLETRON!!!!!!!!!-B

Stupid Pennies

When is someone going to invent a vaccuum that sucks up pennies?  They're always on the floor and no one likes them anyway.  I still try to suck them up anyway, but they just rattle around and shoot back out, e-v-e-r-y t-i-m-e.  Stupid pennies.  Rabble-B

What's the 411?

So I'm really tired of people telling me they don't know their own number and pulling out their cell phones and looking it up.  No, it's not just that no one wants to be my friend, it turns out people are just stupid.  I have to special order things for whiny customers all the time and you wouldn't believe how many morons don't know their own number.  "I don't know my number, I don't call myself, haha."  Yeah, haha fuck you.  How do you not know your own fucking phone number?!  That blows my mind.  Seriously, do you never give out your number for any reason?  Does anyone ever call you?  Do you have any friends?  Yes, ok how did they get your phone number?  Did they see a psychic?  Shit man, if there's one number you should be able to memorize (other than 911, and if you can't remember that then this probably isn't for you anyway) it should be your own.  Please, for my sanity get with it!  Rabble-B

Stop ruining my life!

Dear hair stylists,

Please stop buying all the rooster hackle feathers in the world.  It's really pissing me off.  Those feathers are for tying flies, not decorating your scalp.  Get a tattoo, it's cooler.  Also, by the way you are being taken to the cleaners on pricing.  Saddle feathers don't cost $3 a piece.

Thank you for your consideration,

Brett Wedeking

Dear XXXXXXX fly tying vendor,

Please stop selling feathers to anyone with a checking account.  You've sold them all to the fashion industry and now fly tyers can't get any.  You are cutting off your nose to spite your face and that involves a lot of blood and pain.  Stop now before it's lying in a bloody mess on the floor and you can't smell anything anymore. 

Thank you for your consideration,

Brett Wedeking

Rabble-B